Summer 2012
Summer is awesome. There’s just so much time to do what I want to do (that is if I stop watching Sherlock and actually leave my house). Granted, I’ve been pretty lazy for the first two weeks, but I have every intention of ending that streak.
Goals List
1. Read Blue Like Jazz
2. Learn to play Vienna by The Fray on the piano
3. Start up a steady Bible reading/ quiet time again
4. Get an A in Formal Logic
5. Invest in the internship
6. Go to kickboxing twice a week
7. Invest in relationships
8. Write everyday
9. Make Pinterest crafts for the dorm room next year
I am going to be so incredibly productive! Starting tomorrow.
…en somme, je fais ce que je peux, je souffre de la souffrance universelle et je tâche de la soulager, je n’ai que les chétives forces d’un homme (…) la misérable nous regarde tous.
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| — | Victor Hugo (via wherethepotterthingsare) |
For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.
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| — | F. Scott Fitzgerald (via talkativolive) |
I can’t catch up with time
It’s strange how quickly time moves now. I do remember old relatives telling me it would, but I assumed they had nothing else to say. They were right, regardless. Freshman year of college is over, and suddenly I’m not justified in feeling like a newbie to the world of semi-adults. I feel like my life should be more on route. Or something big should have happened by now. The same thing has been stretched for nineteen years with small insignificant variables. The constants I suppose I’m grateful for: a loving family, a group of friends, books, Starbucks coffee, whatever else. But the variables should be more important. A new job, a new country, a new trait I never knew about myself.
Maybe I’m being over-dramatic. I tend to do that whenever I write anything down. It’s not that nothing has changed. I’ve lived away from home for the first time; granted, it’s only thirty minutes away if you drive slow. I’ve gained some confidence in myself, though I’m still ridiculously insecure. Things that would have rocked my world in high school seem more manageable. So I suppose it’s not as bad as that first paragraph made it out to be.
I guess it’s time that’s scaring me. I haven’t gone off track yet, but I’m teetering on the edge, constantly running to keep from falling behind where I’m supposed to be. Shouldn’t I know what I want to do in the future, shouldn’t I be in a serious relationship, shouldn’t I instinctively know that those colors clash? (Okay, the last one was a joke, but apparently my recent wardrobe choices have been questionable). I’m assuming that this is God’s plan for me, but what if it’s not? That was a pretentious question… I don’t really believe I could mess up God’s plan on my own. After all, I’m just me. But even so, it’s unsettling to walk briskly along when I’m not certain I’m pointed the right direction.
